Today my mom asked how I was doing and I answered “You know how when you’re really sleep deprived and it makes you overly emotionally responsive? Like, the smallest thing can make me laugh or cry or be overwhelmed by joy/sadness/anything. Except, I’m not really sleep deprived.” I actually *most of the time* don’t mind being super in tune with my emotions because it leads to things like the discovery I made today.
This morning I met Kara for Spin like every Thursday. Our fav teacher was back. We ended up starting almost 10 minutes late, but she promised to make up for it. By the time we reached the top of our big hill and I discovered gear 23 (Hello gear 23. Nice to meet you. This is the first time we’ve been acquainted. To be honest, you kind of suck. But, somehow I think I may see you again sometime anyway), I knew she wasn’t lying. Then it was time for sprints. She mentioned something about the first minute and the second minute, so silly me, I thought they sprint section would only last 2 minutes. Lies. All lies. And to be honest, I kind of thought I was going to die. I felt so certain that I couldn’t keep up and that I had burnt out too quickly again, but something sparked inside of me and I knew that I had two options.
1) Give up.
2) Push harder than I’ve ever pushed and leave everything I had in that room.
When you’re that tired there is no option 3. No middle ground. At least not for me. All or nothing. So I peddled and peddled and pushed harder and faster than I knew I had in me and all of the sudden all of the emotions I haven’t really had time to acknowledge or mentally digest just came up like emotional vomit and I felt like I was going to start crying, but I wasn’t sad. The only thing I could possibly relate it to is when I’ve been on stage and fully released over into what I was doing. I completely let go in that moment and found a lot of reality inside of myself.
Sorry to sound like a nut. The truth is I am a super emotionally driven person and I 100% believe in all this crap. No one can convince me otherwise. I should come with a warning “I’m emotional. Love me anyway.”
I left class, completely beat physically, but feeling amazing mentally.
Not amazing mileage wise, but not bad considering the lost time and killer hills.
After Spin, I finalllllyyy got my hurrrrr did! One of my besties is basically the most fantastic hair dresser on earth. Her name is Kara, but she is not the same Kara from spin. Hair Kara and I have been friends for something ridiculous like 12 or 13 years, and we have had some crazy times together. Ask me one day, and I will tell you all about our shenanigans! While my color sat, I definitely went over to Great Harvest for some lunch lookin like this
Classy, right? I’ll post pictures of the new color once I actually have time to style and make myself pretty.
After my hair appt, I worked and had a super productive/challenging/amazing rehearsal. I am having such a blast working on this show and it is totally challenging my brain to think, focus, and teach in new ways. I’m so happy, and I wouldn’t turn down a single thing I’m doing right now for all the days off in the world! But I have to admit, I miss Steve and I miss these cutie patooties!
This morning, I went to grab something from my car and Winston followed me and jumped in the back seat. I guess he’s sick of me leaving all the time and he wanted to come. So cute.
After rehearsal, I stopped by my mom’s where I was poured wine and treated like a queen for an hour. My family has been super sensitive to my crazy schedule and made me feel like a million bucks the small amount of time I got to spend with them!
Tomorrow I work from 7:30am-8:30pm and it’s midnight and I can’t sleep. Yikes. Buuuutttt, I have the Phoenix blogger meet up on Saturday to look forward to! Sooo excited (and I have to admit, a little nervous)! If you live in Phoenix and you’re not already on the list, you should come tooooo! I can’t wait to meet everyone 🙂
Ok. Must. Try. To. Sleep.
PS: Question of the day: Have you ever had an emotional response during a work out? Does what I expressed make sense, or do you kind of think I’m a freak? 🙂